Part 1- 50 Shades of Grey: The Fun

So I am going to come right out and say what everyone is wondering.  Yes, I read all 3 books of the infamous "Fifty Shades of Grey."  I devoured the first book, plugged through the second and slogged through the third.  Now, in case you are wondering, I am not an erotica reader.  Frankly I am not even sure I like the erotica term.  Let's call it what it is - pornography for women and normally I have no problem saying no to the experience.  So what possessed me to want to read not 1 but 3 porno books?  Curiosity.

You see, when E.L. James came out with these books about a Dominate Christian Grey and his love affair with the wistful, innocent Anastasia Steele, I thought it was nothing more than another one of those smut books. Not for me.  After all, porno books are a dime a dozen.  Then something interesting happened.  "Fifty Shades of Grey" started getting press, MAJOR PRESS.  It was on every morning show, every talk show, news broadcasts, google news, magazine articles, media stands, it was everywhere. Journalists reported on it, women were interviewed about it.  Everyone was reading this porno series and talking openly about it on every major media source.  Christian men and women were reading it, non christians were reading it, men were reading it, doctors were reading it, CEO's and famous leaders were reading it.  It was everywhere.

I was part of a MOPS group in my church at the time and one of my good girlfriends was reading it.  She loved it and was recommending it to everyone.  Really, in church?  I WAS CURIOUS.  So, wanting to be open and honest I went to my dear husband and asked him how he would feel about me reading the series.  I just had to find out what all the fuss was about.  Now in all transparency, I must say that our sex life at the time was struggling.  I just wasn't feeling it and having a hard time ever wanting to be intimate.  Being a Mom and remembering how to be a wife is hard.  So he was all for it, thinking that it might help get things heated up a bit.  We discussed it, openly.  I did not read them in secret, in fact, I discussed the book with Bob frequently and I found other MOPS moms who were reading it and talked with them as well.  I have to admit, the day I started the book, I was excited!

And WOW was it........HOT and I LOVED it! I devoured it and frankly devoured my spouse in response.  It was awesome, fun, sexy as all get out, naughty, exciting, enticing, fantasy inducing, dreamy and just delicious.  Christian Grey was everything you could want, young, successful, super rich, gentlemanly.  He knew a woman's body and never faulted.  He wanted to give Ana the world, buy her everything, put her up in fancy hotels and buy her fancy clothes.  He took charge and always provided a mind blowingly satisfying "experience."  WOW, it not only lit my spark, it created fireworks.  I just loved it.  For the first time ever, I had a small beginning thought that maybe pornography, when experienced openly and in a committed relationship, could be a good thing.  The 400+ pages flew by and I simply could not wait to start the second book.

The fun had just begun......

MILA 4 You and Me!

I am so excited to get to share with you all something that I have discovered! MILA. It is an incredible WHOLE RAW FOOD that is making a dramatic impact on the world. Quite literally it is changing the health and wealth of the world! I have launched a global business with this powerful food and invite you to learn more!

MILA made an huge impact on my family this past summer when Lily started solid foods. Within a couple weeks of beginning solid foods, Lily was dealing with horrible constipation. The poor thing. It got so bad that she would scream in excrutiating pain whenever she had to go. Th pain was so bad she would wake herself up screaming. If you have ever had a child in pain, you know hoe stressful it can be. I desperately searched for ways to help without having to resort to stimulants, or harsh drugs. I reached out to friends, family and other mommas for natural remedies. My Aunt suggested MILA by Lifemax. Not wanting to try anything that was part of a business opportunity I was very resistant, but I was also at the end of my rope, so I tried it. After all, it is a whole food. I gave Lily the MILA and within 24 hours she had filled her diaper 5 TIMES. I couldn't believe it. Since we have incorporated it into her diet she has not dealt with the constipation. After seeing how it helped her, I decided to give it a try. In the month that I have incorporated it into my diet, I have seen weight loss (8 pounds in 3 weeks), increased regularity, less hunger pangs, lower PMS symptoms, greater mental clarity and unbelievable stamina and energy. IT IS INCREDIBLE and it made such a difference in my life that I am committed to building a business and sharing the word about this amazing food!

I know you are wondering, Okay, what is this miracle food?

MILA is a proprietary blend of chia that has been carefully selected to provide the highest levels of Omega 3's, fiber, protein, minerals, antioxidants, and phytonutrients.


In fact, MILA offers the highest amounts of the essential Omega 3's per serving than anything on the planet. This food is wheat free, gluten free, sugar free, cholesterol free, trans fat free, tasteless and odorless. You can cook and bake with MILA or use it as a condiment like salt and pepper. MILA is an FDA approved food with no restrictions or contraindications. This means that infants, children, pregnant and lactating mothers as well as adults in all stages of life can eat it. What makes MILA really an exceptional food is the Omega 3's it offers. Omega 3's are essential fatty acids. This means that literally every cell in our bodies need Omega 3's to function properly, but our bodies don't make them, we have to put them in through food. Here is the scary part: Nearly 95% of the population does not get enough Omega 3's! So 95% of the population are not funcitioning optimally. To make things worse, our American diet is overloaded with Omega 6's (the bad fats ie, vegetable oils, corn oils, really what makes processed food good). Is it any wonder obesity is becoming an epidemic, blood pressure and cholesterol are off the charts, diabetes running rampant and we are afflicted with all sorts of maladies and ailments. Yikes!

What MILA offers is a natural, plant based way to put these essential Omega 3's into our bodies while also giving us loads of fiber, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, phytonutrients and protein. All in a bioavailable real FOOD! All over the world people are seeing significant improvement in their health just by adding MILA to their diets. Imagine a world where our bodies work the way they were intended.


The most exciting thing about MILA is that it is part of a unique and powerful business that is dramatically changing the health and wealth of the world. Lifemax has an awesome world vision and amazing leadership! Run, don't walk to get your hands on this food.

www.seed4change.net- Read testimonials and discover MILA
www.lifemax.net/mila4youandme- order MILA and learn more about me and my business.

Hot Lady at 2 O'clock

Bob and I have recently joined a small group. The group we joined is working its way through the books "For Women Only," and "For Men Only" by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn.

We just started, and the group is actually well into the book. Last week we discussed the women only book and I have to say that I learned a lot and discovered a few things. The chapter was all about how men are visual beings. I know, I know, we already knew that right? Well this time it was interesting because the author of the book really got into the nitty gritty of how guys are wired and the extent of their visual brains. It was really eye opening to have the guys in the small group confirm what was said in the book. It is sometimes shocking to find out not only how different our male counterparts are, but how sexually driven they are.

I'll admit, I am a fairly naive person. Even after 7 years of marriage, there are things that still make me blush and to this day I am usually unaware if a guy is hitting on me. No kidding, it is sometimes so bad that Bob has had to pull me over and say something to the effect of "Bethany, that guy is hitting on you and you are not exactly giving him the no signals," to which I innocently reply, "REALLY???!? I had no idea. What shouldn't I have said." I am sure many of you are laughing out there, but it is the truth. Throughout our marriage, Bob has lovingly walked me into a whole new world of "how guys think." It has dramatically changed clothing choices, situations, conversations and has opened my eyes to the plight of men.


God in his infinite wisdom designed men to be visual. So visual, in fact, that the mere sight of an attractive woman can have a guy revved up in about 10 seconds flat. Being so visually directed also means that images that are seen stay around and become like a photo book in a guys mind. Those images can be called upon constantly. Interestingly enough, though, it isn't always about sex for guys. Guys were made to admire beauty. Yes, it is physical and sometimes emotional, but not always sexual. This can be difficult to grasp because as a woman we just don't respond the same way. I was really humbled because, as we discussed the intricacies of the male mind, I noticed that many of the women of the group were responding with a lot of resistance, frustration and even anger. I think they were struggling with the issues of "If he really loves me and is committed to our marriage, why does he even notice other women?" I was further hit with the reality of how detrimental this issue can become in a marriage especially when there is no understanding, mis-communication and lets face it, bitterness.

Now I am not going to sit here and tell you that it is okay for your husband to let their visual minds go unchecked, or to check out every "hot lady" that comes around with abandon. Men seeking to honor and love their wives must be in a constant battle of keeping their thoughts pure and honoring their wives with their eyes. However, this is an area of our relationships that we can use to build or destroy one another, and we as the women have incredible power.

There are so many directions that I could take this post, and we could talk for a long time about this issue and its intricacies, but I want to focus on how we respond to this in our marriages. Here are 5 points that will be critical you on your quest to becoming the Best Wife Ever:

1-Be a source of safety for your husband. Your husband needs to know that you are a safe place to "come clean" about his struggles. He needs to firmly believe that you will love him, hear him, encourage him and help him even when what you hear hurts. We as women struggle with self image in general and can easily become threatened by the thought of our men seeing another woman. That feeling easily becomes anger, bitterness and resentment and we turn on our husbands instead of supporting them.

2-Don't tear him down, build him up. Men have tender spirits when it comes to their masculinity, especially where their wives are concerned. Men who are working to keep their thoughts clean and honoring struggle with how to handle the visual stimulations that come at them every day. It is a battle. An endless, persistent and vicious battle. A single sentence, a single word and sometimes a single look from you can strip him of his masculinity and quite literally wound or kill him on the "battlefield."

3-Remove your self image issues from the situation. Stop taking it personally, its not about you!! If you are in a relationship where this is a big issue, it can be very painful. I understand, but the issue is NOT about you. It is about him and the struggle he faces. Imposing your issues or blaming your self image issues on him will not stop or help the issue. Get yourself out of it and go back to point number 1.

4-Remember, you have issues and struggles too. Here it is ladies, YOU AREN'T PERFECT EITHER! You have issues and struggles, many of which your husband loves you enough to deal with and help you through. Your stuff may be different, but it is hard none the less. The moment you forget that you struggle is the moment you loose the ability to love your man and his struggles in the way you are supposed to.

5-Being the Best Wife Ever isn't easy. Numbers 1-4 will take a lot of work, a lot of patience, a lot of self sacrifice and a lot of unconditional love. Loving someone enough to support them through tough struggles takes strength and many times it means that you have to feel pain. Many times that pain comes from the very person that you love too. That is life, that is relationships, that is love. We live in an imperfect world where sometimes pain and heartache go with love and intimacy, embrace it.

Lets Prioritize!

Okay, lets all face it, American priorities are seriously out of whack. We see it everywhere we look and many times we most clearly see it in our families and relationships. Our country is known for its busy, overdriven, workaholic, convenience ways and it has drastically impacted the face of the family. Moms and Dads are working 60, 70, 80+ hours a week, obesity is an epidemic, homes are disorganized, children are out of control, marriages are skating on thin ice, faith is being buried and homes are crumbling around us. YES, our priorities are sorely out of alignment.

For those of you who know me I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and shape my life around His principles. My intention writing this blog was not to have it be a "spiritual blog," but rather a "relational blog." No matter where you are or what you believe, you can get something from this. I must confess, however, that this blog is going to get spiritual because my life is NOTHING without the sacrifice of the Cross and the grace extended me from Jesus Christ. When I decided to talk about priorities, I knew that the first priority is a growing relationship with Christ. If you do not have that relationship, I encourage you wholeheartedly to consider a personal relationship with Him. Without Him I am nothing and all that I have comes from Him. The storms and stresses of this life are only made manageable because of His presence in my life.

Every day we prioritize. Whether or not you have an actual list of "to dos" that are carefully numbered and labeled matters not, trust me you prioritize your life. You decide to exercise over sleep, shower over eat, work over play, cook over clean, read to kids over work calls, sleep over sex and all other life decisions. Yes, you prioritize tasks and activities every day. What I want to address is a more general life list. Where does work, kids, husband, God, friends, yourself and community fit on the list of your life? Have you ever thought about it? Do you know that where you put each one of these will dramatically affect your life, your family, your happiness? Well then, lets list.

Your number one priority: A Relationship with God.
You were created out of the image of a perfect God, a loving God, a RELATIONAL God. He intended for you to live and work and grow in relationship with Him and all other relational creatures. Sadly we chose sin and in that choice, we selfishly told God that we could do better. Let me assure you, if our world is any indication we most certainly CANNOT. Without His presence working to transform our selfish ways we are getting lost in a sea of messed up people, broken marriages, misguided children and crumbling families. "The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord"(Romans 3:23). Know that "God so loved the world that He sent his only Son to die for you. So that whoever believes in Him and calls Him Savior will not perish, but will have eternal life" (John 3:16). Understand that Jesus is "The Way, the Truth and the Life, you don't get anywhere without HIM (John 14:6). Please understand that He must be first for all other facets of your life to be healthy and well prioritized.

Number Two: Your Spouse.
Yes, this one comes before your children! And for those of you who do not have children, it comes before work and extended family and friends....... Your spouse should be the next important priority after your relationship with God. So often we allow our spouses to take the back burner to our lives. This, however, is the reason why we as husbands and wives are "falling out of love" and having "irreconcilable differences." Your spouse needs to feel important in your life and if your children are getting in the way, its time to re-prioritize. You may think that answering every cry, loosing yourself in child care, getting your kid involved in everything and using all your energy on your children is benefiting them, but it isn't. Not if your marriage is falling apart in the process! Children are the most secure and happy inside of the confines of a functioning and loving family which starts with a functioning and loving marriage.

Number Three: Your Children
Yup, children come in third on the right kind of priority list. Remember that children are a supplement to your life, not your life. When God established marriage and families, he had every intention for children to enhance the marriage and grow the family. He wanted us as couples to be able to raise healthy children to grow up and start families of their own. It is critical that we know and understand that role in our children's lives, we are players in their lives, not their lives. Raising our children to make right choices from diapers to college is a priority to be sure but not the ultimate priority and not at the expense of our marriages! This being said, Children come BEFORE work. Now I know that I will touch a nerve for many women, but this is the fact, children need present parents. I understand that work for many is necessary to survive and that it for many is something that keeps them healthy. I get it, but it should never be pursued at the expense of your children. Please hear me when I say children must come before work whether that means you should adjust your life so that one parent can stay at home, or figure out a way to keep it balanced. You have such short time with them before they are gone......don't miss it.

Number 4: Your work.
This is one of the priorities that has gotten WAY out of whack in our American culture. We are working more hours than ever, sacrificing our time for the sake of our paycheck, leaving earlier, coming home later, exhausting ourselves climbing the corporate ladder and missing important events in our lives for the sake of our work. For many, work is falling squarely in the number one spot on our list and our families and lives are suffering for it. Keep your work in the right perspective. Money and success are nice, but can be easily taken away. Your heart, your relationships and your family are much more longstanding. Put your time into what matters and keep work in the right place.

Number 5: Your friends.
Friends are so important to our overall life health, but they are not the endall! This is especially hard for women because we are so relational and lets face it, we like to gossip and "Vent." The problem is that we prioritize our "venting" time with friends over actually talking and resolving issues with our spouses. We prioritize our gossiping time over time spent pouring joy and contentment into our children. Sadly we even prioritize "girl time" over time spent pursuing the Lord the ultimate giver of life and friendships. Your relationships with your friends are an important part of your life and personal health but come after your have a strong relationship with the Lord, a good relationship with your spouse, healthy relationships with your kids and the right relationship with your work.

Your community and all other facets of life come after these top 5. You, yourself, fit into all of them. I know it seems overwhelming, but remember that nothing happens overnight, and it is one small step after another that makes the difference. Start today by pursuing a relationship with Christ. With Him, your priorities will slowly and consistently fall into the right places.

You want me to date my husband?

Whoa, and you thought your dating days were over! Think again. Actually, now that you are married and possibly have kids in the marriage it is now more important than EVER to be dating. I know you are probably laughing at me right now going, "Yeah, I will get right on it Bethany right after we go to work, feed the baby, change the baby, hold the baby, feed the kids, potty train the toddler, pay the bills, do the dishes, clean the laundry, take the dog out, take the kids to school, take the kids to sports practice, go to church, take naps, sleep (ha) and repeat." I have just got to be kidding you right?

No, I am not, and I am more serious then ever that you have to make time to date one another. Okay, don't get anxious or stressed about having to fit yet another thing into your busy life, that's why I am writing this. I am not an expert at this dating thing, but Bob and I are committed to keeping our marriage alive so we do, in fact, date one another. I have some ideas and I also have some advice for that nervous mom or busy wife on how to prioritize date night and LOOK FORWARD TO IT!


First we need to remember what it was like to date. Remember that butterfly feeling that you got? Remember how meticulously you did your hair, picked out your outfit, put on your makeup and checked your reflection? Then remember how careful you were to not do anything embarrassing and make sure you always had your best foot forward? You thought of all manner of interesting questions to ask to give you a glimpse into the other person's life. If the date went well you waited anxiously for the second date call and hoped for that first kiss. Dating served a purpose, right? It allowed you to get to know someone personally, see what kind of interests you shared, open up time for discussion of beliefs, dreams, and hopes all while usually eating good food and doing fun activities.

So if the main reason for dating was to get to know someone, why is it so important to date your spouse? You probably know everything about them, after all you see them all of the time, live in the same house and share the same bed. They have seen you at your best and at your worst so all pretense is lost. What is the point? I want to suggest, that perhaps dating was and is actually a much deeper activity than we think it to be. Instead of being solely an activity you do, dating is a gesture, a conscious act of pursuing someone. It is intentionally saying "I want to be with you so much that I want to give you my sole and undivided attention. I want you to know that you are special and worth my effort." Dating inside of your marriage says to your spouse, "Honey, I know our life is busy, the baby is crying, we've been working all day, we're tired, the house is a mess and the dog pooped on the carpet, but you are as important to me now as you were when we first met and I want you to know it and make you feel special." Yes, that is how important dating is!

So now how do we fit it it? First of all, dating your spouse is not limited to "dinner and a movie." In fact, if you are a parent, your dates will most definitely not be dinner and a movie except on very special occasions (like when Grandma is visiting!). Be creative and remember, dating is about time with each other and not about where you go or what you do! MOST IMPORTANTLY IT IS NOT A PLANNING SESSION TO SYNC YOUR CALENDARS! It is also not about the time of day you go. Dating your spouse is about taking intentional time whenever you find it. If you don't have kids, find time in your work schedules and commit to keeping it. Don't let a last minute conference call, meeting or unresolved work issue change your plans. If you have kids, find a sitter. Maybe a neighbor, a close friend, a family member, someone from church. Don't leave child care to the last minute. If you have family close, ask them to commit to twice a month child care. If you don't have family, make friends and trade off child care! Do NOT let your kids be the excuse. Now I understand budget restraints and financial concern for babysitters, but PUT IT IN YOUR BUDGET! That money is a PRICELESS investment in your marriage.

I am going to take a moment and talk to the mom's out there who say, "Bethany, I would love to go on a date, but I just can't bear to leave my baby. I will worry about him/her all the time and not be able to enjoy myself." Okay, don't take this the wrong way....SERIOUSLY??? I understand the fear and I understand the deep connection to your child, but being an overprotective, paranoid, worry driven, child absorbed parent is a detriment to your own self, you marriage and YES, your child. Can you see how, once again, you have another excuse not to date your husband and this time the excuse is your own baby, the result of intimacy in your marriage? Why, once the babies come, we can so easily say, "thanks honey for your help making the little one, but I can't leave the baby with anyone else and he/she needs all of my attention. I will get to you if I have time, but it probably won't happen for a while because I need to be with the baby 24/7." I know it seems harsh, but ladies, this is NOT okay!

I am not suggesting that you hire a high school kid to watch your babies, or even the new neighbor that just moved in. I am suggesting that you find another mother that you trust implicitly to watch your kids, or perhaps a grandmother. Be a protective parent and find the right childcare then choose to let the worry go on the back burner for the hours with your husband. Two to three hours away from your baby is not only healthy for you, but it is also healthy for him/her. Keep your cell phone near you, but don't constantly check it, don't constantly talk about how worried you are either. Decide when you drop off your baby that from that moment until you come back your attention will be solely committed to your husband, conversation and all. You want to make him feel special for the next few hours by reminding him he is still the keeper of your heart.

Whew, now that we have put some stuff out on the line, I am going to finish this post with some great date "night" ideas. If you are like me, money is a bit tight so Bob and I are always looking for cheap dates. Here are some of our favorites:

-Go grocery shopping- I know it seems boring, but if you have super busy lives and have only an hour or two, this is a great way to spend time together. If you are shopping at a warehouse, go on sample day and see if you can collect all of the samples and have a sample picnic meal.

-Go to the park or take a walk-You get fresh air and exercise

-Stay home and play a game- Mancala is a great game. Up the stakes by making the looser of each round drop some clothing.

-Have sex-As a parent, if you are like Bob and I, your encounters are fast and dependent on the baby/kids. Well, here you go, give them to the sitter and enjoy an entire 2 hours of uninterrupted intimacy!

-Make dinner together and go out for dessert- Share a sunday or a milkshake with two straws.

-Go to the gym and take a class together, or go running outside

-Go to the mall and shop for each other. Shopping doesn't necessarily mean spending.

-Go to Victoria's Secret and put every piece of lingerie up against you for your husband to imagine you in. Make it extra fun by making him rate it from 1-10.

-Go to a furniture store and imagine how you would decorate your house if money were no object.

-Volunteer


Whatever you choose to do remember that it is about the gesture and not the activity!

Happy Dating!

Why Did I Get Married??

What a question right?? I am sure all of us have thought about this question during a moment of anger, or frustration. Maybe when our dear husbands missed an important date, once again left their towel on the floor or forgot to tell us they love us. That question can really start us on a train of thinking that either leads us to a happier moment, or for many adds to the resentment that causes deep marital dissatisfaction. Today I want to pose that we ask ourself this question in a much different context. Let's talk about it in general conversation, "Why did you get married?" What prompted you to commit the rest of your life to one person? Was it a friendship that blossomed into true companionship? Was it purely sexual attraction, or maybe a financial reason? Did you get married because it was expected? Maybe it was because being married was just a much better scenario then being alone? Whatever it was, that reason plays into everything that is your marriage now and it is something that should be thought about!

Unfortunately, our culture and society are riddled with broken families, shattered hearts, angry spouses, rampant divorces and broken relationships.


Separation, cheating, lies and divorce seem to be on every magazine cover, all over the news and in nearly every media that we expose ourselves to. Heck, in 2 seconds we can change our relationship status on facebook from "in a relationship" to "its complicated." Seriously? Jumping in and out of relationships like it is a sport is not only commonplace, it is accepted, encouraged, and "liked." If you don't like one, well dump it and find another. When the one your in does something stupid, end it and try again. If you aren't HAPPY all of the time well then by golly go find that happy elsewhere. You don't have to commit to be in love, have sex, have babies or share a home. So seriously, "Why did you get married?"

Well for me, I got married because I wanted to spend my life in a secure, committed and growing relationship. I wanted to love someone enough to need them. I really never got into the dating scene, I wasn't promiscuous and I was constantly waiting for the "right" guy. When I met Bob, our friendship grew quickly into companionship and within a year and 9 months of meeting we were married. We were young and still in school with no jobs and a lot of unanswered questions, but we were in love and we WANTED to be married.


Now 7 years later our relationship is stronger, more committed and better then it has ever been. The reason is that Bob and I evaluate our "Why" question every day and make a CONSCIOUS CHOICE to stay in and grow our marriage. Failure in our marriage is not an option. Yes we argue, yes we have different view points, yes we frustrate each other and yes there are days were we do not feel "in love." But see, we got married to BE MARRIED and choose to fight for it each day.

Okay, so where am I going here? If the answer you gave to the question posed is creating resentment and dissatisfaction in your relationship, change it. If your answer leaves an "out" in your marriage, rethink it. No matter why you got married, make the decision today to stay married, to fight for your relationship and not allow your past, your situation, your family or your life to dictate how you feel.


Block out our culture, fight against the societal "norm," and find new security in your relationship. Yes, it will be hard, yes, you may feel alone in your commitment, and yes, it you will struggle every day. Funny thing about our lives is that the things worth having require a lot of sacrifice and a lot of work. Freedom is never free, authentic happiness never comes without sorrow, glory never comes without guts and true love does not come without commitment. Choose to commit your heart to your marriage today.

Travelling with Baby!

My daughter was 3 and a half months when I decided to take her across the country from North Carolina to Colorado. Since then we have also travelled from North Carolina to Arizona which is a 5 hour flight! On top of this I did both of these trips by myself, yep, just me and the baby. I must be crazy. Like many new moms, I was very trepedatious about the travelling and worried about how it was going to go. After doing it a couple of times I am going to give you the tips that have helped me.

Booking your travel:
-Book an aisle seat if possible
-Book a seat in the back of the airplane
-Try to book either early in the AM or late at night-Usually your little one will sleep better

Managing it all
When I started to plan for my first cross country trip the first thing on my mind was, "How can I travel as simply and lightly as possible?" Airlines allow each adult to have their checked bag as well as a stroller and carseat without cost. Southwest Airlines allows two checked bags as well as a stroller and carseat at no cost. Check your airline before you go! Here are the customer service numbers of most major airlines.

Aero California 800-237-6225
Aero Mexico 800-237-6639
Alaska Airlines 800-426-0333, 866-516-1685
American Airlines 800-433-7300
Bearskin Airlines 800-465-2327
Continental Airlines 800-525-0280
Delta Airlines 800-221-1212
Frontier Airlines 800-432-1359
Hawaiian Airlines 800-367-5320
JetBlue 800-538-2583
Mexicana Airlines 800-531-7921
Southwest Airlines 800-435-9792
Spirit Airlines 800-772-7117
United Airlines 800-241-6522
US Airways 800-428-4322
Virgin America 877-359-8474
WestJet Airlines 800-538-5696

Each airline also has a different policy for how you include your child in your trip. For Southwest, at the time that you purchase your ticket you have to designate that you will be holding a child on your lap. They may ask you for the date of birth and other information. Just be sure that you check with your airline!

You can check your stroller and carseat at the gate if you would like, but getting everything through security is a hassle and can be very stressful. The best thing to do is to buy a Baby carrier. Bob and I own a Baby Bjorn and we absolutely love it! You can visit their website at www.babybjorn.com or find them at any Target or Babies R Us.


This is an invaluable piece for the baby. Next, I decided that I only wanted to have to deal with one other bag so I combined my diaper bag and purse. Don't forget to pack the following things in your diaper bag:

-Extra clothes for the baby
-Burp clothes
-Small blanket
-Your Hooter Hider-Very Critical especially if you are breastfeeding. I highly recommend the hider from Bebe Au Lait. See their selection at www.bebeaulait.com


-Pacifier-and clip. It is so easy to keep track of. Here is one by "Munchkin" which you can buy at Target or Babies R Us


-Wipes
-Diapers
-Bottle/Formula- Even if you are breastfeeding having a bottle gives you a peace of mind. Put the formula in the bottle without the water so that you can add the water easily.
-BABY Documents- Most airlines require a SHOT RECORD and a BIRTH CERTIFICATE. You will need a PASSPORT or If you have the baby's social security card bring that too!
-Snacks-simple, non messy things that you can eat with one hand
-Bottle for water

Carry a bottle for water that you can fill up and have on the plane. When you are travelling with a child on your lap, both of your hands are always busy and keeping an airport cup from spilling is almost impossible! My first trip I didn't even get a drink because I was too busy with the baby! So come prepared and do not expect to be able to enjoy the in flight snacks.

Getting Dressed
Another really important part of travelling with an infant is that you, the mom, dress comfortably and simply. No jewlery, no extra pieces of clothes. Wear slip on shoes so that you can easily get off at the security checkpoint. You will actually carry your baby through the scanner and will get to forego the full body scanner. YEAH! If you are carrying your baby in the Bjorn or other carrier, you will be required to take your baby out of it and send it through the scanner. Be simplistic! It makes the whole process easier!


Most of the airport staff is willing to help, but the TSA staff cannot touch your child so don't expect them to help you with your stuff. Another critical "dressing" tip for mom is, if you are breastfeeding, to wear a shirt that has easy access. Here is a picture of two different shirts that I own. Both worked fantastic. This first one has a wide neck to provide quick access.



The V neck one is the easiest. Having quick and simple access is vital for a low stress travel experience. I also highly recommend dressing your little bundle in a onsie. Don't have miscellaneous pieces, socks, shoes, hats etc. that can fall off and get lost. It will just be an added stress point!


Once you reach your gate most airlines offer family boarding. Take advantage of it! Meet the attendants in your section and introduce them to your baby. The attendants want to help and want you to have a good flight. Get your hooter hider, burp cloth, water and snack out and put it in the pocket on the seat in front of you. I put my hider on at the beginning of the flight and never took it off. If your baby gets super fussy and you can't get up......put them on the breast! Even if they just ate, don't be afraid to do it. Many times babies just want to suckle to feel secure! If you are not breastfeeding, try the bottle with either formula or just water! Do what you need to make them feel secure.

Once you are in flight and the seatbelt sign is off, don't be afraid to walk around with the baby. That is why I recommended the seat in the back of the plane. You can stand back in the galley, walk around, and just let your little one see the sights. Some attendants may give you a dirty look, but again, do whatever you have to do to make your experience peaceful.

If you have to go to the bathroom midflight, don't be afraid to ask an attendant to hold the baby for you. They are allowed to help you and most of them are more then willing to give you a hand.

My daughter never had a difficult time with the pressure changes, but do your best to have a pacifier, bottle or the breast handy for going up and coming down as it helps them to keep their ears clear.

Most importantly though remember this one tip...babies respond to how mom is feeling. If you are stressed and worried, the baby will mimick your stress.

Happy Travels!