Why Did I Get Married??

What a question right?? I am sure all of us have thought about this question during a moment of anger, or frustration. Maybe when our dear husbands missed an important date, once again left their towel on the floor or forgot to tell us they love us. That question can really start us on a train of thinking that either leads us to a happier moment, or for many adds to the resentment that causes deep marital dissatisfaction. Today I want to pose that we ask ourself this question in a much different context. Let's talk about it in general conversation, "Why did you get married?" What prompted you to commit the rest of your life to one person? Was it a friendship that blossomed into true companionship? Was it purely sexual attraction, or maybe a financial reason? Did you get married because it was expected? Maybe it was because being married was just a much better scenario then being alone? Whatever it was, that reason plays into everything that is your marriage now and it is something that should be thought about!

Unfortunately, our culture and society are riddled with broken families, shattered hearts, angry spouses, rampant divorces and broken relationships.


Separation, cheating, lies and divorce seem to be on every magazine cover, all over the news and in nearly every media that we expose ourselves to. Heck, in 2 seconds we can change our relationship status on facebook from "in a relationship" to "its complicated." Seriously? Jumping in and out of relationships like it is a sport is not only commonplace, it is accepted, encouraged, and "liked." If you don't like one, well dump it and find another. When the one your in does something stupid, end it and try again. If you aren't HAPPY all of the time well then by golly go find that happy elsewhere. You don't have to commit to be in love, have sex, have babies or share a home. So seriously, "Why did you get married?"

Well for me, I got married because I wanted to spend my life in a secure, committed and growing relationship. I wanted to love someone enough to need them. I really never got into the dating scene, I wasn't promiscuous and I was constantly waiting for the "right" guy. When I met Bob, our friendship grew quickly into companionship and within a year and 9 months of meeting we were married. We were young and still in school with no jobs and a lot of unanswered questions, but we were in love and we WANTED to be married.


Now 7 years later our relationship is stronger, more committed and better then it has ever been. The reason is that Bob and I evaluate our "Why" question every day and make a CONSCIOUS CHOICE to stay in and grow our marriage. Failure in our marriage is not an option. Yes we argue, yes we have different view points, yes we frustrate each other and yes there are days were we do not feel "in love." But see, we got married to BE MARRIED and choose to fight for it each day.

Okay, so where am I going here? If the answer you gave to the question posed is creating resentment and dissatisfaction in your relationship, change it. If your answer leaves an "out" in your marriage, rethink it. No matter why you got married, make the decision today to stay married, to fight for your relationship and not allow your past, your situation, your family or your life to dictate how you feel.


Block out our culture, fight against the societal "norm," and find new security in your relationship. Yes, it will be hard, yes, you may feel alone in your commitment, and yes, it you will struggle every day. Funny thing about our lives is that the things worth having require a lot of sacrifice and a lot of work. Freedom is never free, authentic happiness never comes without sorrow, glory never comes without guts and true love does not come without commitment. Choose to commit your heart to your marriage today.

Travelling with Baby!

My daughter was 3 and a half months when I decided to take her across the country from North Carolina to Colorado. Since then we have also travelled from North Carolina to Arizona which is a 5 hour flight! On top of this I did both of these trips by myself, yep, just me and the baby. I must be crazy. Like many new moms, I was very trepedatious about the travelling and worried about how it was going to go. After doing it a couple of times I am going to give you the tips that have helped me.

Booking your travel:
-Book an aisle seat if possible
-Book a seat in the back of the airplane
-Try to book either early in the AM or late at night-Usually your little one will sleep better

Managing it all
When I started to plan for my first cross country trip the first thing on my mind was, "How can I travel as simply and lightly as possible?" Airlines allow each adult to have their checked bag as well as a stroller and carseat without cost. Southwest Airlines allows two checked bags as well as a stroller and carseat at no cost. Check your airline before you go! Here are the customer service numbers of most major airlines.

Aero California 800-237-6225
Aero Mexico 800-237-6639
Alaska Airlines 800-426-0333, 866-516-1685
American Airlines 800-433-7300
Bearskin Airlines 800-465-2327
Continental Airlines 800-525-0280
Delta Airlines 800-221-1212
Frontier Airlines 800-432-1359
Hawaiian Airlines 800-367-5320
JetBlue 800-538-2583
Mexicana Airlines 800-531-7921
Southwest Airlines 800-435-9792
Spirit Airlines 800-772-7117
United Airlines 800-241-6522
US Airways 800-428-4322
Virgin America 877-359-8474
WestJet Airlines 800-538-5696

Each airline also has a different policy for how you include your child in your trip. For Southwest, at the time that you purchase your ticket you have to designate that you will be holding a child on your lap. They may ask you for the date of birth and other information. Just be sure that you check with your airline!

You can check your stroller and carseat at the gate if you would like, but getting everything through security is a hassle and can be very stressful. The best thing to do is to buy a Baby carrier. Bob and I own a Baby Bjorn and we absolutely love it! You can visit their website at www.babybjorn.com or find them at any Target or Babies R Us.


This is an invaluable piece for the baby. Next, I decided that I only wanted to have to deal with one other bag so I combined my diaper bag and purse. Don't forget to pack the following things in your diaper bag:

-Extra clothes for the baby
-Burp clothes
-Small blanket
-Your Hooter Hider-Very Critical especially if you are breastfeeding. I highly recommend the hider from Bebe Au Lait. See their selection at www.bebeaulait.com


-Pacifier-and clip. It is so easy to keep track of. Here is one by "Munchkin" which you can buy at Target or Babies R Us


-Wipes
-Diapers
-Bottle/Formula- Even if you are breastfeeding having a bottle gives you a peace of mind. Put the formula in the bottle without the water so that you can add the water easily.
-BABY Documents- Most airlines require a SHOT RECORD and a BIRTH CERTIFICATE. You will need a PASSPORT or If you have the baby's social security card bring that too!
-Snacks-simple, non messy things that you can eat with one hand
-Bottle for water

Carry a bottle for water that you can fill up and have on the plane. When you are travelling with a child on your lap, both of your hands are always busy and keeping an airport cup from spilling is almost impossible! My first trip I didn't even get a drink because I was too busy with the baby! So come prepared and do not expect to be able to enjoy the in flight snacks.

Getting Dressed
Another really important part of travelling with an infant is that you, the mom, dress comfortably and simply. No jewlery, no extra pieces of clothes. Wear slip on shoes so that you can easily get off at the security checkpoint. You will actually carry your baby through the scanner and will get to forego the full body scanner. YEAH! If you are carrying your baby in the Bjorn or other carrier, you will be required to take your baby out of it and send it through the scanner. Be simplistic! It makes the whole process easier!


Most of the airport staff is willing to help, but the TSA staff cannot touch your child so don't expect them to help you with your stuff. Another critical "dressing" tip for mom is, if you are breastfeeding, to wear a shirt that has easy access. Here is a picture of two different shirts that I own. Both worked fantastic. This first one has a wide neck to provide quick access.



The V neck one is the easiest. Having quick and simple access is vital for a low stress travel experience. I also highly recommend dressing your little bundle in a onsie. Don't have miscellaneous pieces, socks, shoes, hats etc. that can fall off and get lost. It will just be an added stress point!


Once you reach your gate most airlines offer family boarding. Take advantage of it! Meet the attendants in your section and introduce them to your baby. The attendants want to help and want you to have a good flight. Get your hooter hider, burp cloth, water and snack out and put it in the pocket on the seat in front of you. I put my hider on at the beginning of the flight and never took it off. If your baby gets super fussy and you can't get up......put them on the breast! Even if they just ate, don't be afraid to do it. Many times babies just want to suckle to feel secure! If you are not breastfeeding, try the bottle with either formula or just water! Do what you need to make them feel secure.

Once you are in flight and the seatbelt sign is off, don't be afraid to walk around with the baby. That is why I recommended the seat in the back of the plane. You can stand back in the galley, walk around, and just let your little one see the sights. Some attendants may give you a dirty look, but again, do whatever you have to do to make your experience peaceful.

If you have to go to the bathroom midflight, don't be afraid to ask an attendant to hold the baby for you. They are allowed to help you and most of them are more then willing to give you a hand.

My daughter never had a difficult time with the pressure changes, but do your best to have a pacifier, bottle or the breast handy for going up and coming down as it helps them to keep their ears clear.

Most importantly though remember this one tip...babies respond to how mom is feeling. If you are stressed and worried, the baby will mimick your stress.

Happy Travels!

Here is a fantastic cookie recipe!

Okay, so one thing you have to know about me is that I love to cook and bake. Of course I also love to test the batter, but come on, who doesn't. I used to hate baking because it left me with all of these cookies that I had to eat. Don't get me wrong, I love cookies, but my waistline and hips DO NOT! Having a cookie now and then is a perfect way to enjoy them moderately. Having 2-3 cookies per day just because you made them is not! So I have discovered a fantastic solution, my husband's office! They love it when I bake and they just vacuum my sweets up! It is the best of both worlds, I get to have 2-3 cookies and send the rest with my husband. I get to enjoy baking, not the added inches on my waist! All of you ladies out there who like to bake find yourself somewhere that appreciates your baking adventures and bake away!! This is a great way to enjoy baking without the guilt of eating too many calories! I try a recipe almost every week. Here is this week's cookie recipe:

Chocolate Mint Chip Cookies.

I love to use the Andes mints and now many supermarkets have them in a bag just for baking! You can also use any mint chips that you can find in your supermarket:

1-1/4 Cups Flour
2/3 Cup Real unsweetened Cocoa
1 tsp. Baking Powder
1/2 tsp. Salt
1/4 Cup (half stick) butter- can be salted or unsalted
1/4 Cup shortening (I use crisco)
1/2 Cup White Sugar
1/2 Cup Brown Sugar
1 tsp. Vanilla
1/3 Cup Milk
1 Bag Mint Chips

*Secret Ingredient- 1 Cup ground walnuts- put raw walnuts into the food processor and ground them up very fine. Adding this helps the cookies stay more on the soft side.*


Preheat your oven to 325 degrees F and use a non stick baking sheet. You do not need to grease the bottom for use.

Combine the flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt in a small bowl. Mix together and set aside. Beat butter, shortening, white and brown sugar until combined. Add in the vanilla and the milk and continue beating for about 2 minutes. Slowly add the dry ingredients, walnuts and mint chips. Once combined, drop cookies onto the baking sheet and be sure to flatten them slightly before putting them in the oven (you can also chill the dough for 10-15 minutes for easier use). Place cookie sheet in the oven for 15 minutes. Cookies come out perfect! Using butter and shortening gives them a flaky texture and the walnuts help keep them soft! Enjoy!

What's this all about?

Welcome to The Best Wife Ever Blog! My name is Bethany and I am a wife and a new mom. I have the greatest blessing of being able to stay at home with my little Lily Grace and treasure figuring out how to be a domestic woman. The idea for this blog came out of something that my husband tells me nearly every day. He comes home from work and always tells me that I am "The Best Wife Ever." Now I am not an arrogant person trying to tout my own horn. On the contrary, I really feel so inadequate of the title and am constantly wondering what it is that makes him feel that way. I certainly don't feel like the best wife ever on most days. So, it got me to thinking about women everywhere and how awesome it would be to have a blog that talked about how we can be best wives. This blog is going to be a little bit of everything. It will be a platform to talk about serious things that impact our marriages and our families. It will also be a forum for advice, suggestions, motherhood help, parenting, dinner and food ideas and all around domestic doing. I will do my best to make it humorous and personal so that you all can feel like we are in this together. Being a wife and for many a mom is challenging and confusing. I want to share in it and encourage through it! Journey with me as I work to discover what makes "The Best Wife Ever."