Why Did I Get Married??

What a question right?? I am sure all of us have thought about this question during a moment of anger, or frustration. Maybe when our dear husbands missed an important date, once again left their towel on the floor or forgot to tell us they love us. That question can really start us on a train of thinking that either leads us to a happier moment, or for many adds to the resentment that causes deep marital dissatisfaction. Today I want to pose that we ask ourself this question in a much different context. Let's talk about it in general conversation, "Why did you get married?" What prompted you to commit the rest of your life to one person? Was it a friendship that blossomed into true companionship? Was it purely sexual attraction, or maybe a financial reason? Did you get married because it was expected? Maybe it was because being married was just a much better scenario then being alone? Whatever it was, that reason plays into everything that is your marriage now and it is something that should be thought about!

Unfortunately, our culture and society are riddled with broken families, shattered hearts, angry spouses, rampant divorces and broken relationships.


Separation, cheating, lies and divorce seem to be on every magazine cover, all over the news and in nearly every media that we expose ourselves to. Heck, in 2 seconds we can change our relationship status on facebook from "in a relationship" to "its complicated." Seriously? Jumping in and out of relationships like it is a sport is not only commonplace, it is accepted, encouraged, and "liked." If you don't like one, well dump it and find another. When the one your in does something stupid, end it and try again. If you aren't HAPPY all of the time well then by golly go find that happy elsewhere. You don't have to commit to be in love, have sex, have babies or share a home. So seriously, "Why did you get married?"

Well for me, I got married because I wanted to spend my life in a secure, committed and growing relationship. I wanted to love someone enough to need them. I really never got into the dating scene, I wasn't promiscuous and I was constantly waiting for the "right" guy. When I met Bob, our friendship grew quickly into companionship and within a year and 9 months of meeting we were married. We were young and still in school with no jobs and a lot of unanswered questions, but we were in love and we WANTED to be married.


Now 7 years later our relationship is stronger, more committed and better then it has ever been. The reason is that Bob and I evaluate our "Why" question every day and make a CONSCIOUS CHOICE to stay in and grow our marriage. Failure in our marriage is not an option. Yes we argue, yes we have different view points, yes we frustrate each other and yes there are days were we do not feel "in love." But see, we got married to BE MARRIED and choose to fight for it each day.

Okay, so where am I going here? If the answer you gave to the question posed is creating resentment and dissatisfaction in your relationship, change it. If your answer leaves an "out" in your marriage, rethink it. No matter why you got married, make the decision today to stay married, to fight for your relationship and not allow your past, your situation, your family or your life to dictate how you feel.


Block out our culture, fight against the societal "norm," and find new security in your relationship. Yes, it will be hard, yes, you may feel alone in your commitment, and yes, it you will struggle every day. Funny thing about our lives is that the things worth having require a lot of sacrifice and a lot of work. Freedom is never free, authentic happiness never comes without sorrow, glory never comes without guts and true love does not come without commitment. Choose to commit your heart to your marriage today.